doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
