My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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