Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
