can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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