I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
