i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
