all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
