Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
