he puts the penis in happiness.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
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A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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