I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
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PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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