party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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