look no pants
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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