We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm bleeding and have questions
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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