Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
