can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
