watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
