you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
