I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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