I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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