the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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