i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
