youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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