A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
