So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
