Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
be right there i have to get my cape
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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