no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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