i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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