i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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