I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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