we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize