the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
