dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
