Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
