I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
