a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Oh god it's open bar.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
