so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
