I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He kissed a someone with a penis
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
