Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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