She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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