Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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