Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
