i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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