just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
