By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize