the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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