absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
