I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
