It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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