I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
