I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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