my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My penis needs a shock collar
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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