do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
