Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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