So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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