The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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