His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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