I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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