What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
